How Can I Teach My Child to Live Life to the Full?
I have spent many years trying to develop my inner self. It has not been easy. Overcoming my fears, inhibitions and inertia was difficult, but the effort has been worth it and I believe I live my life to its full potential. But how can I teach my child to live life to the full?
The search for self improvement is full of self doubt. I have spent years exploring many avenues and techniques; not all lead to anywhere meaningful. However, some things I learnt have helped me enormously. But I'm not confident that I have found the right answers. Other people I know have found great benefit from techniques and practices that were of no help to me. Likewise, what I find beneficial, others may not.
Meeting and falling in love with my wife was the best thing that has ever happened to me. The birth of our son brought us great joy. But as we settled into parenting, I became more and more worried about my ability to teach my son about the right approach to live life. I didn't want him to spend years, in later life, searching, as I had done, for answers as to how best to live life. I didn't want his life constrained like so many people's lives are today.
I had so many questions about the correct 'life coaching plan' I should use. How old should he be before I began teaching him techniques that I had learnt? What approach should I take? And were the techniques and practices I had learnt suitable for him? Did I have the ability to teach others?
It was my wife who provided the answer. Actually, we had a row. I was fretting, as usual, about our son, when my wife screamed at me to 'give it a rest!' When I retorted that I only wanted to help our child, she replied that it was me who wanted help and that our son needed no help at all. In fact, she said, if I continued like this, one thing was certain: our son would certainly spend many years as an adult, trying to sort out his life.
She was right of course. From that point on, I began to really observe my child and I began to realize that he had 'no issues' to sort out, no inhibitions, inertia, or self doubt. He's a dynamo, who is constantly exploring the world around him. He's always himself; he's in touch with his real, inner-self.
I have nothing to teach him. Sure, I can teach him to cross the road, walk down stairs holding the hand-rail and how to ride a bike. But I have nothing to teach him on how to live life. He's doing it all by himself. He's my teacher, and a good one at that.
Robin O'Brien is founder and editor of http://www.selfimprovementtechniques.com and http://www.winchester-tourist-information.com
How to Fit in Anywhere
"Sometimes I'm not sure how I fit into this whole puzzle called life." Have you ever thought that to yourself? Have you ever had one of those moments where you look at everything going on and you question how you're connected to it all?
If so, you are not alone. And if it's any consolation, the number of people finding themselves in that same situation is growing every day. Do a web search at Google.com for "Stay at home Dads" and you'll get 214,000 web sites to choose from on the topic. A search on "Home schooling" will get you almost 1.5 million sites. "Alternative careers," brings up over 2.1 million choices to click on.
There is no doubt that the world is changing. People are exploring new ways to do things, new perspectives to look at life from, and new ways to make a living.
As the changes evolve, individuals are having a harder time figuring out exactly how they fit in. The puzzle of life with clearly defined pieces is no longer so clearly defined. Initially, this can be challenging. After all, it is easier to figure out which piece of the puzzle you are, and therefore how you fit in, if there are identifiable pieces.
But with the morphing of both those clearly defined roles and the stereotypes that developed because of them, comes a new opportunity. It is the opportunity to fit in anywhere.
So how does one seize this tremendous chance? How is it possible to go from confusion to interfusion, and from separated to linked? The answer is to think bigger, stay connected, and create your own puzzle.
Think Bigger
We often limit our thinking by putting classifications on ourselves and those around us. I am a student, she is Canadian, he is wealthy, they are Hispanic, we are elderly. By using these types of classifications, it is simple to create an environment where we don't fit in. The more we categorize people, the less likely we are to have something in common with them, and therefore, the more we can feel out of place.
However, when we think bigger, and broaden our view of the world, it becomes easier to see how we fit into it all. Thinking to ourselves, "I am a human," or "We are alive," greatly expands the spectrum of possible connection points. Suddenly, we fit in anywhere. Every place we go we have a link to all that is around us.
Get Connected
The world has shrunk and expanded all at the same time with the creation of technologies like wireless communication, satellite television, and most recently the Internet. People that would never have interacted with each other are now connecting every single day. Those interactions shrink the distance and differences between all of us.
At the same time, this access to people, information, and cultures expands the world in an instant. We have such easy access to information that it is impossible not to realize there is a massive world of people around us.
In some instances our interactions result in gaining static insights into how other people live, work, and play. The expanded offerings available through cable and satellite television bring that opportunity. We can watch and learn about what life is like around the globe. We see that although people are different in many ways, they are even more alike.
In other cases, the link is less informational and more interactive. We can get on the internet and through e-mail and chat rooms, be instantly linked to people that are literally halfway around the world. We can find friends in countries around the planet who have similar interests, challenges, and beliefs. With the click of a mouse, we can get connected.
Through the technologies at our disposal, we have access to a wealth of information and a world of people. If you use those technologies to be actively involved in getting connected, you will instantly see all the ways in which you fit in.
Create Your Own Puzzle
Thinking bigger helps you associate yourself with a wider spectrum of people. Getting connected helps you interact with those people. Both of these principles will help you fit in anywhere.
Creating your own puzzle takes the concept of fitting in to a whole new level. Instead of summarizing who you are and trying to find ways to integrate with the world around you, try letting the world integrate with you.
Why should you fit into someone else's puzzle? Why not define the existence you want and therefore create your own puzzle. After all, it's easy to figure out how you fit into the puzzle, if you create the puzzle. Does that sound difficult? It doesn't have to be. If you open up your world by thinking bigger, and then use the concept of getting connected, you will have access to a world of people who also are creating their own puzzles.
No matter what type of existence you want to have, there are probably hundreds if not thousands of other people who want something similar. They may be scattered around the world and have backgrounds completely unlike yours, but when you think bigger and get connected, that no longer matters. In all likelihood, some of them have already figured out how to have the type of existence that you seek, and are probably willing to share that information.
Pick and choose the parts of their puzzle that work for you and blend them with your own ideas. Pretty soon, you will have created something that is totally unique, and all yours. Then you won't have to worry about fitting into someone else's puzzle because you'll have your own.
As the world continues to change, traditional roles will become less and less traditional. In that environment, finding where we fit in will get more difficult. Think bigger, get connected, and create your own puzzle and you'll find that you won't have trouble fitting in, because you'll fit in anywhere.
Copyright © 2006 John P. Strelecky
Author
John P. Strelecky is the international best selling author of "The Why Café" (Da Capo Press; April 2006; $12.95US/$16.95CAN; 0-7382-1063-3) and a highly sought after inspirational speaker on; "How to Achieve Maximum Success with Minimal Effort." His CD series of the same name has received rave reviews from listeners. A graduate of Northwestern University's MBA program, John has served as a business strategist for numerous Fortune 500 companies. Through his book, CDs, articles, and appearances on television and radio, he has positively impacted the lives of millions of people. John can be reached through his website at www.whycafe.com, or by calling 407-342-4181.
COSMIC ORDERING - The Power of Positive Thinking
If you have found your way to read this article, something within you has been triggered consciously or otherwise to seek a path which you can take to change your life in a positive way forever. What you are about to discover shortly is not something new, but in fact a frame of mind and a process that is as old as mankind itself. You will learn that by taking a simple course of action and by following time tested instructions, your life, your mental attitude, your health and an abundance of other things will change and the physical things you desire will actually manifest themselves to you.
Before we start, it is important that you read and re-read the following, because this is the fundamental foundation.
The Power of Positive Thinking is a theory that contends if you believe good things will happen to you, there will be some sort of cataclysmic shift in the energies surrounding you which will actually cause good things to happen to you. For as many people who believe in the power of positive thinking, there are many more who believe it's all a bunch of New Age pop psychology drivel or sugar-coated Peter Pan platitudes.
Here's the thing: they're all right.
You see, positive thinking is a system of beliefs. So if you believe it doesn't work- then, of course, it won't work. And if you believe it does work...well, you get the idea. For non-believers, using positive thinking is like trying to get a job after high school. You need experience to get a job, but you need a job to get the experience. It can be difficult to know where you're supposed to start. But just like any other process, the key to making positive thinking work for you is to start small. Plant seeds, if you will, and then learn how to tend and cultivate those seeds until you have a mental garden that bears a phenomenal crop, year after year. Anything is possible with positive thinking...even if you do believe it's all a bunch of crap.
Norman Vincent Peale, the father of positive thinking, once said: "If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind." This is the essence of positive thinking. It's not so much a theory as it is a contagious disease. Just as anger and negativity spread quickly from person to person, so do humor and happiness- only good feelings spread far faster. Think about it: have you ever noticed that the quickest way to ease a tense situation is to make a joke? The instant someone laughs or smiles, a sense of relief spreads through everyone in the vicinity. Even if the angered parties don't feel better, they are at least able to discuss the problem in a detached and objective way, and get on with their lives instead of dwelling on negativity. For that same reason, solo drivers who get cut off in traffic tend to remain angry for at least the rest of the drive- because there is no one else near them to send out good vibrations and break the tension. Makes sense, doesn't it?
Let us get started as the seeds of belief are already there. Your next step is to clear your mind's garden of doubt and get ready to plant. You'll learn how to take all that negativity and mulch it down into fertilizer that will let your possibilities grow.
Banish negativity from your mind
To tune in to the power of positive thinking, you should probably start small- particularly if you don't believe it will work. It's one thing to tell yourself, "Tomorrow, when I wake up in the morning I won't hit snooze a dozen times and feel drowsy for the rest of the day," and quite another to tell yourself, "Tomorrow, when I wake up in the morning I'll be living independently wealthy and living in a mansion." (Unless, of course, you are in fact independently wealthy and living in a mansion at the moment; in which case you might try to think your way into ownership of a small country.)
The process of making positive thinking work for you begins with destruction, or at least a mild shift in your thought structure. In order to make room for new methods and ideas, you must first tear out all the old negativity patterns you've been building throughout your life. For some, this can be a gradual process: as you witness positive thinking work for you, one small step at a time, you will slowly clear out those good-things-only-happen-to-other-people thoughts, and be able to cultivate the seeds of change.
What's holding you back? Even those who fully embrace the theory of positive thinking may feel some qualms over entrusting their lives to mere thought. There are many possibilities that could be producing weeds in your mental garden, and the best way to get rid of a weed is to yank it out, roots and all. In this section we'll discuss some of the most common stumbling blocks people encounter on the road to positive thinking, as well as how to overcome them and lay the foundation for a healthy life outlook.
Self-Esteem: Catching the "I-Love-Me" Disease
For most of human existence, self-esteem was an unheard-of notion akin to the theories of those heretics who believed the world was round. The term "self-esteem" - defined by Webster's Dictionary as "pride in oneself; self-respect" - made its way into the common public awareness during the '60s and '70s as a catch-all term to describe the essence of parenting problems. The "old ways" of parenting were pronounced barbaric and damaging to the budding self-esteem of our youth, and many parents fearful of raising unhappy, ill-adjusted children took advice that led to a generation of children with high self-esteem...so high it eclipsed personal responsibility and created a "me-first" mentality.
On the other hand, most of us are taught that thinking highly of ourselves is a vain, selfish and undesirable trait. Advice telling us to feel better about ourselves and occasionally put us first seems counterintuitive at best. After all, isn't self-love the first step on the road to Ego Central? Many people want to feel good about themselves, but guilt too often rears its ugly head and stops healthy self-esteem from developing.
Because of these conflicting viewpoints, self-esteem is a tricky little emotion to manipulate. It's important to strike a balance between modesty and greed. It takes practice to convince yourself that you are a worthwhile and deserving person, while at the same time keeping in mind that you're not the center of the universe. Though it may sound impossible, it's actually simple to accomplish.
This article is an extract from a FREE e-book which can be obtained from COSMIC ORDERING
